this might be the millionth time i’ve said “i’m starting the blog back up!” in the past 5 years, hoping it’s the one where i actually follow through. you wouldn’t know it from scrolling (there isn’t much here but a post on my favorite bath bombs) but blogging has long been a part of my identity, and one i never really meant to give up – but as it often does, life got in the way.
i started out blogging for others, my 18-year-old & eager for experience self was more than happy to churn out content for anyone who’d pay me a little above minimum wage. but it wasn’t until I took a creative writing class in college that i realized i really enjoyed it, writing felt cathartic, and flowed easily. it didn’t really click though, until i started writing for myself.
all it took was a few dominos falling to get me there, a change of scenery, a little confidence boost, and that early adulthood realization that *everyone* was in fact making it up as they go to decide it was time to use my own voice, and figure out what I had to say. blogging became one of my favorite ways to unwind, to unpack, to share my thoughts and opinions with others – and people were reading! and then my blog became a business.
what started out as an outlet for my thoughts became my livelihood, and so much more than just a blog. my husband and i quit our jobs as designers, went all in, and turned my hobby blog into our brand – northshire living. for the first 5 years, we grew exponentially, my blog continued, focusing on our projects and life in the northshire. my writing even parlayed me into published articles for local magazines, and i started to garner a following, with folks coming up to me in our small town stores to tell me how much they loved my post. and the more it grew so did the pressure. writing stopped feeling like an outlet, and more like an obligation.
for some reason, i let myself fall into the trap of “shoulds” and it spiraled from there. “i should be posting at least twice a week if I’m going to get real traction”… “should be optimizing my photos for web”… “i should have a better header”… “shouldn’t i be using affiliate links!?” and something i once looked forward to became something i procrastinated. weekly posts became a distant memory, i tried to maintain monthly but as the business grew and my time got spread thinner – the final nail in the coffin came. “if you’re not being consistent with your posts, you’re just wasting you’re time” said the blogger with the following of my dreams and tons of brand deals, and a post hasn’t graced my blog since.
it could have been a temporary setback, but it turned into a long-term one when, after years of trying, i finally found myself pregnant. the next three years of complicated pregnancies, loss, postpartum and my journey into motherhood would quite honestly rock my sh*t in ways i’d never imagined. and that, dear reader (if there even are any) is how i’ve found myself here again today, typing away, back on my blogsh*t.
while i’m not out of the baby phase yet, i’m *fingers crossed* done birthing them forever, and i’m trying to find myself again. motherhood is somehow simultaneously the most wonderful, joyful, rewarding, cup-filling thing i’ve ever done, and also the hardest, scariest, alienating, and utterly exhausting. call it getting your pink back or don’t (i find that expression weirdly sexual) but, the concept has merit – so we’re bringing the blog back! and we’re doing it fun!
this post has no photos, no tags, no intention to monetize, no corresponding post on other platforms to feed traffic – maybe no one will even read it?! and that’s what’s so wonderful about it – there’s no pressure anymore. and with that release, i’m already starting to feel a little glimmer of me, writing, once again.
xo niki
a curated life 